When love takes hold of us, we often believe it will last forever. However, reality sometimes takes an unexpected turn, leading to separations and heartache.
One husband, hoping to part ways with his wife, thought writing her a letter explaining his decision would ease the pain. Little did he know that his choice would backfire when his witty wife’s reply taught him a valuable lesson. The exchange between them is both brilliant and humorous.
Dearest Wife,
It is with a heavy heart that I pen this letter to inform you that I am departing from our marriage for good. Throughout our seven years together, I believed I had been a devoted husband, but it seems my efforts have amounted to nothing.
These past two weeks have been trying for me. The news of you quitting your job, delivered by your boss, was the final straw that I could no longer bear.
Last week, I tried my best to impress you—getting a new haircut, preparing your favorite meal, and even donning a fresh pair of silk boxers. Yet, you barely acknowledged my efforts, hastily consuming your meal and heading straight to bed after watching your soap operas. The affection, the intimacy between us—it has all faded away.
I’m left to wonder whether you’ve grown disloyal or if love itself has vanished from your heart. Regardless, it’s evident that our journey together has reached its end, and I am choosing to depart.
Your Former Husband
P.S. I request that you not attempt to find me. Your sister and I are starting anew in West Virginia. Farewell, and may you find happiness in your future endeavors.
Dearest Ex-Husband,
I must say, your letter has been the highlight of my day. Yes, we were married for seven years, though the description of you as a “good man” couldn’t be further from the truth.
Your incessant whining and complaints are what drove me to immerse myself in TV shows, anything to drown out the noise.
And the haircut? Well, I did notice it, but my first thought was, “You look rather effeminate.” Of course, my mother taught me not to say anything unkind, so I remained silent.
As for the meal, you must have confused me with my sister, as I haven’t eaten pork in seven years.
Regarding the silk boxers, I turned away not because of their allure, but because the price tag of $49.99 was still attached. Coincidentally, that very morning, my sister borrowed $50 from me. Funny how life works, isn’t it?
Even after all of this, I foolishly believed we could salvage our relationship. When I won $10 million in the lottery, I quit my job and planned a romantic trip to Jamaica for us. But upon returning home, you were gone.
Life takes us on unexpected journeys, and I wish you the fulfilling life you seek. As for the finances, your letter ensures you won’t receive a cent from me, according to my lawyer.
Farewell, Your Ex-Wife, Rich and Liberated!
P.S. In case I never mentioned it, my sister Carla was born Carl. Hope that’s not an issue for you!
Feel free to share this humorous tale with your loved ones if it brought a smile to your face!
